Coping With Loss

The hardest thing anyone will ever go through in their lives is losing someone we love. It can destroy us mentally and emotionally and leave us feeling a huge void in our hearts. It is always hard to get over losing someone important in your life, and it can take years to get back to yourself again.

Coping With Loss
Image via Republica
To make sure that you look after yourself emotionally and mentally throughout this process, you will want to follow some of the tips below.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Acceptance is possibly the hardest part of the grieving process. Knowing that the person you love is at peace and you won’t ever see them again can be too overwhelming for us to handle. However, if you don’t take steps to acknowledge how you feel and accept what you cannot change, your negative feelings can build up to a point where you slip into a state of anxiety or depression. You will also be more likely to suffer with sleep problems, digestion and you will increase the chance of getting ill.

It can seem like the most difficult thing in the world to say to yourself that someone is gone, but you have to accept their absence if you will ever move on in your life. Just think about the fact that they are at peace. They are happy, sleeping and out of pain. They will always be present in your memories and that it something you want to hold on to.

You will need to find a safe haven in this first stage of bereavement, you can show your employers an employers guide to bereavement leave and make sure that you have all the time you need to deal with this and get back on track. Find that one person who can make you feel safe, and go to them. Talk to people, let your feelings out and have a good cry. Crying might make you feel weak, but it is actually incredibly good for your soul to have a good cry and let everything spill out now and again.

2. Start Trying to Fill the Void

The hole in your heart which someone leaves behind when they go is like a pit of hollowness in your chest. If you are to heal fully and make a move with the rest of your life you will need to learn how to fill up that void with something that makes you feel whole again. You will need to give yourself an appropriate amount of time to grieve first, and then you can start looking at ways to fill that hole and bring that zest for life back to you again.

Give your life a new meaning and redefine what it means to be alive by doing something that makes you happy. It could be that you volunteer for a charity and make a difference in people’s lives, you could adopt a pet to give you something to look after and call your own, or you could even take up a new hobby to keep your mind active and motivated.

3. Learn How to Grow

Every loss in life can teach us something. Losing someone will often make us realize what is really important in life. It may make us want to be more loving and caring to our family and friends, to spend less time working and more time living, or to go out and make a difference in the world. Loss will give you a different perspective on life, whether you like it or not. Take the hints that your brain gives you and change the way to live your life. It could only be a small change, but it will be for the better.

4. Replace Negatives with Positives

Have you ever noticed that funerals are very sad affairs? Of course, someone has passed away and it is an upsetting time in everyone's lives, but it should also be a place to celebrate the life of the person and to show off their positive sides. Take the chance as you are grieving for your loved one to remember the good things. Think about the times they made you laugh, what they loved to do and the way they used to smile. It is these things which you will carry with you throughout your life and remember fondly.

5. Lift the Weight off Your Shoulders

When you lose someone who was a significant part of your life you may feel as if you cannot ever move on be happy again. But as the months go by you will notice that you can in fact carry on with your life even without that person present. It will be harder of course, but it will also be something you adjust to over time.

After those few months the weight of the loss will start to lift away from your shoulders. The memory of that person you love will always stay with you, but the important thing is that the memories will not stop you from loving your life. It will take a bit of time to tell your brain to adjust, so don’t worry if you struggle for a long time. You will eventually get there, you just need to keep trying your best.

6. Become Emotionally Stable

Keeping your emotions in check after a loss can be difficult, especially if you slip into mental illnesses such as anxiety or depression. You may be wearing your heart on your sleeve for a long time, and the slightest mention of that person will set you off crying. But don’t worry, just keep trying to keep your emotions in check and think about other things. If you suddenly remember a bad memory, replace it with a good one. It is this that will help you to become stable with your emotions.

7. Evaluate Your Beliefs

People who believe in an afterlife or a high power will trust that after they die, they go somewhere better. This will mean that they will bounce back much quicker than those who don’t believe. You don’t need to change your beliefs to make the grieving process easier, you need to instead think about things from a different angle. For example if you do not believe in anything after death, think instead of the fact that your loved one will be giving life to plants and animals in future generations. Think about how they will become one with the planet and create new life from that. Don’t focus on the bad parts, think of the good.


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